Living in a time of Covid-19

We’re only four months into a new year, but I bet 2020 is a year we will never forget. In a matter of weeks, just about everything in our lives changed. To say it’s been surreal is an understatement. 

It’s amazing how a tiny microscopic virus can have this much impact on an entire world. While coronavirus has been around for years, this recent mutation where it jumped from animal to human creating a novel coronavirus, is what sparked the current state we find ourselves in. 

I’d be lying if I said this hasn’t shaken me up. With every passing day we learned more about how devastating this pandemic can be. We watched the Dow Jones have its worst point drop in history. Millions of Americans filed for unemployment as states ordered stay at home mandates to slow the spread and flatten the curve. No one could go to work unless you were considered an essential business – such as hospitals and grocery stores. 

The feeling of hopelessness began to settle in. Would I still have a job? What if I get sick and there’s not a ventilator for me? Or worse yet – what if someone I love loses their life because of covid-19? Initially, I spent hours in front of the TV watching the news, trying to make sense out of what was happening in our world.  

Because it started in China, there was hope it would never affect me. And my life would resume as normal. But once it crossed the ocean and began to spread in the U.S. it was clear that life would be anything but “normal” again. 

Restrictions were placed on how large gatherings could be – less than 250 - so schools around the country started to close, sporting events were cancelled and even cities went on lockdown. Soon, it was obvious, no one would be able to escape the wrath of this novel coronavirus.

Everything was changing so fast, I was no longer in control and it was causing me to feel anxious, stressed and overwhelmed. I kept thinking back to one of my favorite books “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle and what advice he might have for all us in this time of uncertainty.  It’s been a few years since I last read it, but I remembered this quote “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”

No, I didn’t want to accept that life as I knew it may never be the same again. I most certainly wouldn’t have consciously chosen this situation to be the experience I am having right now. Accepting this was the last thing I wanted to do, yet I knew the thing I most needed to do. 

I couldn’t go to work. I couldn’t spend time with friends and family. I was probably going to have to cancel plans to travel out west this summer to visit some places on my bucket list – Grand Tetons, Yellowstone and Glacier National Park. The sooner I accepted that I needed to be home and stay home as much as possible, the sooner I would feel ok. 

But I wasn’t ready to do that. And so one night, after my husband had fallen asleep, I finally lost it. All my fears, what ifs, anxieties, grief had caught up with me and the crocodile tears flowed. My biggest fear had turned into what if I get sick and there’s not a bed or a ventilator in the hospital for me? What if one of my parents gets covid-19 and dies? Alone. With no one to hold their hand as they take their last breath? Oh, this is not the life I imagined living. Not now. Not ever. But this is my reality now. And it looked like it wasn’t going to change anytime soon. 

As I pulled yet another Kleenex out of the box, something inside me shifted. I can’t change what is. But I can change how I feel. What if there is a silver lining in all of this? What would that be?

Time. We’ve been given the gift of time. 

Who knows how long we’ll have this stay at home mandate, but we do know it’s at least 30 days. Imagine how much I can get done in that time. Suddenly, I was very excited.  I have a list that is several pages long of what I want/need to do. Emails to catch up on, blogs to write, editing to finish, magazines to read, boxes to unpack from when we moved to Florida, friends I haven’t spoken to in a while to chat with, photos to take for my daily photo challenge, business projects to start/finish, taxes to file, software programs to learn, it just doesn’t stop! Now, I’m not sure 30 days is enough to even make a dent in my list!

Time. To slow down. Play with the dogs. Go for a walk in nature. Listen to the birds. Watch the wildlife. Sleep. Learn something new. Daydream. Do nothing. What a great gift this is. 

This in no way belittles the heros on the front line fighting this pandemic. Thank you barely expresses the gratitude I feel for the medical community and what they are doing to save all of us. The best thing I can do to help them is to stay home. I may feel cooped up or like a prisoner in my own home. But this is where I need to be right now. For me. For you. For the nurses and doctors. For the first responders. For the world. 

And just as our lives changed so quickly and abruptly last month, so it will again when some of the stay at home mandates are lifted. Life will look different, we’re not quite sure how just yet, we just know that it will. And we will need to accept that as well. How you make use of the time you have now is up to you. It won’t last forever, it may happen again (let’s hope not), but this time could end up being when you created the best (fill in the blank) that you ever dreamed of. 

Be well. Be safe. And stay home!